The Overlook

 

Let’s dive back in. -MH

The spring air feels good in my lungs, it’s that cool fresh smell that winter has left but the warm sun kissing your face just enough to get you longing for summer and fun. 

As a guy, well as a single guy there are very few places I can just go sit and enjoy being outside without looking creepy. In the city it would be a park bench, or the head of a jogging trail. I don’t need that today. So I’m here at the overlook. 

Very few places offer quite, a view, and hope the way that this does. A tall wooden structure stands high above the trees, silently it stands even in the wind. As you walk up the stairs to the very top, it’s almost like going through a public yearbook. “I was here 1999” or “A+R=4E” gouged into the wood. A history of experience and existence. 

I often wonder who these people are now, did “Follow your dreams!” Actually follow theirs? Or did “Liz & Beth love forever” really love forever? 

The closer you get to the top the more the sun peeks through the wood, the wind picks up as well. The writing becomes marker here too. It also somehow is all more recent. People’s @ dropped everywhere. As of now love is no longer important but likes and follows on an app are what life is about. I suppose the wood up here sees more weather than the more protected parts below so it gets replaced more often at least I hope that’s the reason now that I’m at the top of the decades old fire trap. 

The view is amazing I can see the city, I can see all the hills and trees. Most importantly I can feel the weight falling off of me. I noticed I’m standing in a outline with words around it. It reads “we made love right here” for a second this seems sweet then the gross feeling of what that means sets in. I hop over the outline and move to a different corner. Looking out at the trees just because. For the first time in days, no stress, no worries, just the air the clouds and the sun warming my shoulders. 

I lay down looking up at the sky and the vastness of it, “How small we really are.” I speak out loud something that at a park would get the cops called on me most likely. 

A strange sound starts to cut into my blissful quiet, I believe it’s supposed to be singing but they aren’t doing a good job at it that’s for sure. I can definitely tell it’s a girl’s voice now...

 After my girls day with my roommate got cut short because boyfriends are more important, because “we live together and see each other all the time” I decided to drive out to the overlook. This time of day no one is usually here so I can dance and sing and just be without worrying about people seeing. 

Walking up this absurd hill to this toothpick tower I’m singing one of my favorite songs at the top of my lungs just because I can. The music is playing in both ears almost as loud as it can be again just because it can. The wind flings my hair everywhere, something that would ordinarily make me mad having spent time doing it but now I don’t give a FUCK. Why should I they didn’t care about the effort I put in to have a good day out, they don’t care even a little. 

 The stairs are so far apart and make every step feel like a lunge, not a fan let me tell ya. The wind has slowed and the sun is gone so I lift my sunglasses up off of my eyes and they pull my hair back with them. 

“I can see!” I giggle to myself stopping on one of the landings to look out. “This is so beautiful. Better than being ignored at a restaurant table checking my phone for the nonexistent notifications trying to seem important.” 

I’m one set of steps away from the top and start singing again as the song ends. In that brief moment of silence I here movement above me and tense up. I slowly peek around the half wall but the sun makes everything a white screen. Quickly pulling down my sunglasses.  This is it this is how I die...

I see the girl who was making all that noise and acting like she was the only one here. First I see pretty brown high and low lighted hair, then dark black sunglasses that Audrey Hepburn would have worn. They fit her face well. Then full red lips to match. She has on a pretty white silk shirt and form fitting light blue jeans and navy and white flats. She looks afraid, “Oh hello there.” I try to ease her mind and not be creepy at the same time. 

His hello makes me feel a bit less like I’m in the open of a horror movie, “Hi, I didn’t realize someone else was here.” He isn’t wearing sunglasses, the sun is igniting his brown eyes, and light brown skin. He has a slight smile, not quite a full smile more of a smirk. The only thing typical about him is the black hoodie and blue jeans. His body language reads differently than most guys I run into, his face seems confident but I can just tell he has a world on his back and tremendous weight on his chest...

Her real voice is pleasant I actually recognize it now and another split second I realize exactly who she is. The girl from the other night at Brit’s party. Damnit I can’t remember her name, it starts with a J I think. Jamie? No. Jasmine, hell on...

Why isn’t he saying anything? Oh god he is going to kill me. At least it’s a beautiful place to die. Hey wait I know him I think, “Don’t I know you? Mark right?”

“It’s Mike actually, yeah we met a a party.”

Smooth move there Janice, “Oh I’m sorry I’m bad with names. How have you been? What are you doing here?” I ask him in that awkward conversation voice I hate...

She’s nervous, a pretty girl is nervous to talk to me? This is a new one, “It’s ok you knew it started with a M. I’m good, just living life ya know? Taking in the spring air I guess. You?” I sound so dumb I bet.

She looks at me in the eyes deeper than most people do it freezes me, “Can I be honest?” 

I break free from her gaze, “Umm, yeah?”

She takes a deep breath I watch as her chest rises and her lips part to exhale, “My roommate blew me off and I came out here to be alone and sulk.”

I get the picture, “Ahh say no more, I’ll leave you to it.” I smile a small smile and manipulate past her still in the only walkway...

Damnit I just hurt him. I didn’t mean too that’s not what I was saying. He made me feel safe and I wanted to say something real not small talk. Why am I like this? I decided to take the risk, “Hey that’s not what I meant. You can stay. You were here alone first after all. Let’s be alone together?” He turns and and that oddly cute smirk. Did I just fix something? This is a good feeling...