NOTE: the time line is messy sorry not sorry that’s life.
I was lucky enough to find a passion for sports at a later age in life. After your youth, it’s kinda hard to pick up new or heck even old things. As a kid I loved hockey, I loved skating. In 2015 I started roller derby. Yes that thing you’ve seen on tv when you were young or that sport from that movie. Quickly I realized how much I missed skating. In 2021 I joined a beer league hockey team. Both are things I would have thought about a short time ago. However here we are.
I have now been lucky enough to play both team sports for an extended time. I’ve also been lucky enough to play and win championships in both. Championships at different levels in roller derby.
In this blog I’m going to rank those championships. Not because I’m a god and my opinion matters but because the reasons why I rank them where I do. If you play a team sport or even work on a team you may get something out of this.
We are going to start with the lowest and go towards the No.1 ranked. In advance sorry if this offends some people, really it’s time to stop feeling I can’t voice my opinion for fear of being excluded because well I already kinda am.
So coming in at number 5. Yes five.
My first championship in roller derby. As part of a team in a team sport reaching the top should feel good. It didn’t. I felt less than like I had no place on that team. I remember thinking this is so cool but why do I feel empty. I realized it was because I felt like I didn’t really play a part in winning. The best thing that came out of it was deciding that that next season was going to be my last in the sport.
I didn’t expect the next season to be voted on to be captain, a responsibility I took very seriously. Bonus: I think I valued the first championship I lost more than the first one I won. In that game something unexpected happened. A skater I didn’t really see eye to eye with was just doing everything to get on my nerves. (Yeah if you’re reading this, I said it) so part way through the game we could both feel it and as teammates and line mates (a line is the group of 5 skaters on the track at one time) we had to work together. In that moment we sat literally eye to eye. She voiced her displeasure and I really tried to hear her. I told her I didn’t like being yelled at like I wasn’t helping because I really was trying. She said “You block for me and I’ll jam for you ok? That’s how this works.” In that second I gained a lifetime worth of respect for her. I’m happy to call her my friend now. She’s on a short list of people I would trust without question on or off track. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way. Irritating Irish you have no idea how much that meant to me. I would go on to select her as my co-Captain because of that level of trust and knowing she’d rise to the leadership role. I can happily say I have no regrets about that.
So now coming in at number 4, my second National title. Again yes I’ve been to and won two but again it’s a team sport and I’m lucky enough to be part of an extremely good league of skaters.
I had never felt better going into this tournament. I came out of retirement shortly before going. I wanted to be faster and smarter. I wanted to leave no doubt I belonged on this team of amazing skaters. I was so happy to be on a line with Disco Biscuit, I’d played against her forever but I new we played similar and that we’d made an awesome 1-2 punch. I remember sleeping the night before on an air mattress in a cold (like Arctic cold) basement of a house I’d never been to in a town I’d never heard of. All of those things are the exact opposite of how I game prep. I want to be warm I want to sleep comfortably. All the same I played well the first part but playing against an extremely veteran team I had an awful hit.
As a jammer (the person trying to score the points in derby. Helmet marked with a star) you take hits and that’s just how it goes. Only this hit came from another game. Because it was a one weekend tournament there were two tracks setup so multiple games could happen at the same time. I got swept out (knocked out of bounds) by a blocker. As I looked back at the track to time my re-entry, because I wanted to not get caught behind the same blocker to start the process all over. I didn’t see at the same time another skater from the other game got hit (hard I assume) and slid in my direction. My foot was pinned under her and I pinwheeled on my hip joint. It hurt. I haven’t admitted it till now, but that’s probably the first time I actually knew I was really hurt and thought about not returning to the game. This is an injury I carry with me now. I know I’m not as fast or nimble as I was before that. The rest of that game it felt like the other team targeted that hip. I didn’t finish the tournament. I knew I wanted to skate with my house team in the coming weeks so I didn’t skate in the last game. For that reason it feels like that’s the one I fought for and did everything right but in the end I didn’t finish strong. I always will my body to do everything I need it to. That was the first time it failed me. The team I was apart of went on to win the next game and ultimately the National championship. I felt like I let them down even more I let myself down.
Ok number 3. My second all-gender house championship.
I was the captain of that team. With my trusted co-captain I was very excited for that season. Only with all the excitement it started to feel like I was captain in title only. I couldn’t shake that feeling. I needed constant reassurance that my co was still with me. It felt like there was a split in that team and I didn’t know what to do about it. I remember going to the rink that night with the plan to take pictures with everyone and anyone who agreed to. Something I’m notoriously bad about taking pictures with people at events. I felt free, I knew going into that game it would be may last. I was going out on my terms. During the warmups I was laying on the ground stretching looking up at the ceiling. I turned and looked at my team, knowing this was the last time I would take in all that was. On the bench, I love to slap knee pads and give encouragement or make you smile. I think it helps but you’d have to ask someone I’ve played with. Right before the game started I made a post on our team page because no matter what happened in that game I was proud to have been their captain. I was honored to have been given that opportunity. We won. I felt closure. I could walk away knowing I left everything I had on the track. Spoiler I didn’t stay retired, I came back because I loved the sport.
Number 2 on the list, my first National title.
Having missed making the roster the year before, I had a chip on my shoulder. I felt a need to over prove myself. Making the team meant I had to prove I belonged. I got put on a line with my then captain and co captain for my house team. I knew we’d work well together. The rest of the team was stacked with more of my house teammates. It was actually funny to me. I think that may or may not have been the first time I experienced racism in roller derby. One of the challenging teams has one guy that was just looking to tattoo me with every hit, again when you wear the star that’s life. With this guy I felt it was more. I’ve never said this because it didn’t change the outcome, but skating back to the bench I thought I heard him say “something, something, that black guy.” I am black, and I didn’t hear the first part so I didn’t know how to take it. I did the only thing I could, played harder and tried to be a good teammate. We did go on to win obviously, it felt good to win with people I respected and didn’t know if I belonged on the same track as given missing the roster the previous year. In a best on best national tournament you have to earn your spot. I hoped I did.
If you’re still reading thank you. As a reward here is the number 1. The picture kinda gives it away but my first Hockey championship.
So this one is a crazy story. I’d been asked to join for years, I always said “yeah maybe” or gave some excuse. With covid stopping the world I decided to take the risk. So many people aren’t here anymore, so many who are aren’t able to enjoy the life they once did. I told myself this has to be the time in your life where you take every opportunity and possibility that comes before you aren’t here anymore. I went to a scrimmage getting in the ice. Mind you I’d spent the last few years in skates of a different kind. I was actually amazed at how much it felt normal. Obviously there were things that didn’t translate, I fell. A lot. I thought I looked bad. But the nice lady that I met in the lobby who had informed me she was a captain of one of the teams stopped me and told me she’d drafted me to her team. To say I could explode is an understatement. I was super excited. To take it a step further the team colors were red and black same as the derby team I currently play for.
Flash forward to making it to the championship after fighting for our lives through the playoffs. A matchup against a team that shouldn’t have been playing a team of our skill level. I can’t tell you about my teammates but I wanted to win so bad just because that team was so good. We were down in the game 2-1 and you could feel that disappointment setting in on the bench. If there is one thing I’m known for (at least I hope) it’s having no quit in me. I skated in and I can’t remember how I even got the puck. What I can say is, it is never a bad idea to put the puck on net (shoot the puck at the goal) especially if your down. As I shot it looked as if the goaltender stopped it between his skate and the goal post. Still moving forward towards the net almost looking down inside it now I see the puck across the goal line (a red line that the puck has to cross entirely to count as a goal) and I snapped my head to see if the ref saw it, putting my stick in the air yelling “yeah!” His arm points indicating a goal on the ice. I just hit a bucket list item. To score a game tying goal in a championship game!
After that moment it was like we were a different team. Our jump was their putting two more goals past their net minder to finish 4-2 winning the game. To get to skate a lap with a championship cup, as a life long hockey fan is about as close to a Stanley cup celly as you can get. When I started hockey I just wanted to have fun. Something derby wasn’t Because of how much responsibility I put on myself. So to have my rookie season end like that because I was just having fun and enjoying playing a sport I loved was amazing. I can’t thank Jackie Hockey (her name in my phone) enough for being so welcoming and always giving me jabs about how I better score. Seeing you always fighting and giving your all makes it easy to do the same.
So there you have it. Is it an empty cup? I’m not sure some felt like it but others overflowed with memories and lessons. I think most importantly it just about taking the chance to play the game that matters most. You have one life, fill it with something worth remembering. -MH
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