Passive Suicide, may be a thing you’ve never heard of. Maybe you have. Or maybe from the picture above it sounds like anyone when they’ve had a bad day. In any event, it is a real thing and it isn’t any less valid than active suicide.
The same level of hopelessness, the same level of slogging through the mud of life. With AS there may be a plan in the works. With PS it takes possible everyday things that could be accidents and turns them into the tool of one’s own destruction.
I wanted to bring awareness to this because I believe people who are PS are closer to life than death. Not to say you shouldn’t give up on a person who is AS, just that little things may go a lot further for them.
When feeling low and PS thoughts creep in that hopelessness is big and heavy like a wet blanket, but more than likely that person has at least one thing they want to live for so “an accident” is something outside of their control but could stop the pain they’re in. Some may even think it would be less of a lasting burden to leave their family than if they were AS. Again this isn’t all cases just my opinion on it.
With the feeling of PS “If I got in a car accident and died right now, that would be ok.” Is just as dangerous as someone who is AS making a plan. As a bystander around this person, you may notice the same signs. That may look like more quiet than usual, not responding to messages (shared reels, texts, other social media connections), or dark jokes. One thing to look for and pay attention to is anyone who stops making plans for the future. If someone you know is having trouble all of a sudden making plans for months or weeks maybe even days out, keep in contact with them.
I said a person who is PS may be on the edge and possibly have at least one thing pulling them to the side of life. It’s awful to say but I truly believe more people who are depressed and have Suicidal thoughts are here on this earth still because of their kids. I know often times for me the thought of leaving my daughters and not seeing them grow up or even worse someone who won’t teach them how to be good people coming along after, is enough to give me just a little more fight. In those times I hug them and remind myself I am here for them and that’s important. However a person needs to not rely on that to keep them from feeling the hopeless feeling.
For others who are PS they may have a hobby or maybe a friend/pet that they can still connect with and that is enough to keep them in this world. The thing I want most is for people to realize they can take a more active role in their loved ones lives. Especially those at risk. People often say, “you can talk to me about anything!” But often don’t actually know or understand how to be that supportive person they’re trying to be.
Things to remember if you’re trying to be that person. 1. It’s not about you, if they do or don’t talk to you it’s their choice so don’t take it personally just keep showing up in their life and being a friend.
2. The person may be feeling shame or like a burden, so remember listen don’t judge.
3. To be a safe space you have to build that relationship. Showing over time you are dependable, nonjudgmental, caring, and truly there for that person.
4. Be aware that silence can say more than words ever could. When someone says something shocking, going radio silent can give the impression you don’t care or that they scared you away. (I know for me this is the biggest one. If you disappear or don’t respond it gives the feeling I was too much for you and I can’t come to you with something that big again.)
5. Asking questions isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes the answers may be “idk” but keep trying because you never know what may crack the code and help them open up.
Again this is all opinion, I’m in no way a mental health professional. I can’t say what will work for everyone but I can say what I’ve felt and come to realize in my own struggles. If you are a person struggling with either AS or PS know you are not alone, there are so many of us and we all have people who want us here. They may not understand how to express it but they do. I want you all to grow old and live a full life, I don’t want you to leave before the puzzle begins to fall into place.